sfera propriei constiinte.

tineam sfera propriei mele constiinte in maini atat de usoara fiind dar totusi incarcata cu ceva inimaginabil de greu.

oare cum e sa stii ca esti neputincios in tot ce priveste descoperirea,dar totusi sa nu renunti la ideea de a gasi adevarul.
Oare cum e sa tii o sfera in maini incarcata cu toate secretele posibile..dar totusi sa fie atat de usoara de tinut ..o so strangi si o so strangi..iar la un moment dat o sa se sparga..lasand totul sa curga

iar tu fiind navalit de cunoastere nu ai alta cale decat de a te stinge

i know now!

your mind is a portal. its scientific fact. your brain emits frequencies and can receive electromagnetic signals from other peoples minds. have you ever thought the same thing at the same time as someone close to you, or had a sudden thought about a friend then promptly received a phone call from that friend. the more time you spend with a certain person the more harmonically resonant, or connected your minds will become. its called quantum entanglement and its fuckin awesome

money is the key to human reason.

yesterday while i was looking for money i found a broken one on the street n the other half of it on the other side of the street.
and this though shoot through my mind..
money are like people..
if they are ripped or w.e they don't get accepted
and so it is with people..
if they have a handicap or a deffect they dont get accepted in the world,society w.e

Summer is over.

And it makes me just soo soo sad..
It just gets me back to my old theory of ''dont do plans coz things will get fucked up''
All i wanted to do this summer,get crazy,fucked up,nothing exciting really ever happened,oh just once in a while.

At the very begining I was hanging out every single fucking day with HER(call her IZZY).We were unbreakable.
I was touched with the things she was doing.I was admiring her.And she shared EVERYTHING and i mean everything with me.It's like i was her smaller protected sister.
I knew her best friend(let's call her IRA) was dieing out of jealousy on me,plus she was sent away so there was nothing she could do to fuck us two up.
We were both kinda sick of IRA,she was constantlly having crises about anything and she was talking wayyy WAYYYY too loud!
So we took that as a advantage to get to know eachother better.And so we ended up as really good close friends.
Plans,boyfriends,girlfriends,everything we were planning together all of a sudden broke.

It all actually started when i was trying to get rid of her because of some problems we've had and then she met this junkie.
As she says HE changed HER life. whatever.some drugs in plus change anybodys life.
We were taking drugs way before but she went really downhill with it.


Then one night she called me to tell me how much alike her junkie new best friend was alike her other godamn bestfriend outside the city. Who ofc,was another junkie.
We both knew she picked the junkie for the simple fact that he reminded her of her best friend.
He did all kind of drugs,up to heroin.
And so did she start.
I know how I was and she was saying before that drugs brough us close,and yet i sigh when i think that junie and his godamn cheap drugs stole her from me.

My bestfriend i know you are gonna read this,i Know it's shitty and maybe if somebody else will read it will just consider me nuts,but i had to put this down somewhere.
I just feel like dropping infinite tears when i think about this summer,what's gonna be next,and...we're just both aware we're gonna split up and go diffrent ways..
I might be a looser yeah for not trying heroin or any of that shit..but I'm sorry..I dont think I love you enough yet.You get it.

So wherever may life take us,may we always be in eachothers ''veins'' as you say it?
It's just not the same...

(and once again im drifting from one subject to another!)

depersonalisation.

I was reading thins incredibly awesome book (Ecstasy).
Well I'm not gonna write what the hole book was about here but..
at some certain point in the book the main character was being sooo seduced by this woman who just without her will ''took control'' over HIM.And when i say HIM i mean his hole personality.That she made him wanna rip his clothes off and do things he never would or dared to EVER do before.

Now I've been wondering ever since that part of the book..
What things can really affect us that will just make us..simply depart from our personality,ego,EVERYTHING THAT MAKES US.
And just dont care anymore,do the craziest things we could ever do!things we have never imagined before.

If society was like that (yeah im going back to my bitching 'bout society),''LIFE'' would have been soo much better.TOTAL CHAOS.
But hey i enjoy chaos to its fullest!
My life is a chaos after all.

our point is?

We all rebel against society getting integrated into something,and by all that we don't actually realize we,ALL,are making a group,and well..we're ''integrated'' in it?
I think it's human nature for us to want to fit into something,be labeled..or w.e
Because in the end really we all know we hate it..but who wants to die alone?
So what are we trying to prove?If we are trying to prove something..

are we all the same?

I can't help myself but wonder..why am I '''diffrent'' from everybody else?
I mean,shiiiiiiiit,You dont have to be some sort of fucking genius to make statements like that,well...which are cruelly true.

-oh jumping of a subject to another,I'm having serious lapsuses or however you spell that,and now im just trying with ym eyes clsoed hard,to remember what i wanted to write a minute agoo,its totally freaking me out,it's like i have a various infinity of ideas that shift through my head and I,once in a while,catch them,once they get used,they continue their ''brain journey'' or w.e,it's really reallyyyy annoying!-


anyways going back to the subject..oh yeah!
PEOPLE!
i just dont get simple things like that..
but then again I'll be going insane if i think or write too much
So live by everyday life and don't give a shit about society anything?

what about..

those who go through hardass shit in life. Don't THOSE people deserve some sort of award?
I really get to this point in my life where i wish i was a kid again.
SOCIETY IS FUCKED UP.
we are fucked up,and we make society fucked up.
WHY? IDK.

Why is everything powered by M-O-N-E-Y.
It's retarded but yet...smart.
I was asking my friend one of those,you know,philosophical day talks and i asked her ''why is there the need of money? why can't everyone have all they want?''
And yeah,why cant everyone has the perfect life with no diseases go on unlimited hollydays,never work for stuff coz you'd get it free.
But noooo!
The reality is harsh,crude,and fucked up. Call it whatever you want.
''people feel the need to be competitive,to be ABOVE others''
Now you see..because of those competitive completely greedy lifefucked assholes
THE WORLD IS SHIT!
no,life isn't shit.
we are life.
think about it?
when a mother gives birth she gives life to some sort of retarded little sushi creature,W.E not the point.
SO we,humans (unfortunately) are life,when you say life is shit,you say ''i am shit'' or ''we are shit''
I really know nobody reads this and thank god coz i bet everyone would troll about this shit.
But hey it's my opinion so fuck yours.
I could brag on about shit forever.

So really...why are we all like that ?

Great Arts.

Usually im reallly more into creepy,dark, macabre,gore artsy stuff but these are awesome

http://www.textureculture.com/moonykhoa-le/

It's funny really how i had almost all her paintings but i never really knew who the artist was.

http://www.textureculture.com/a-short-interview-with-pat-perry/

he totally reminds me of alex pardee for somewhat reason.I really should make a list now and then with all my fav artists!!!

http://www.textureculture.com/interview-with-emte/

http://www.textureculture.com/sylvie-bello/

i loveeeee loveee water paintings.

http://mayumiharyoto.com/index.php?/works/smoke/

she is greattt<3

http://www.textureculture.com/sexified-fairy-tales-characters-by-j-scott-campbell/

a-a-a-aand this is today's disney :D

c'est la vie!

I was talking just about yesterday to one of my friends..who's well really different than the others and we always have philosophical-talks-like

Nothing new to me that he was sober after shoots of vodka and some coke.

Never the less we started talking about life and I realized how much this asshole opened my eyes and even though he keeps telling me I should never miss him because he's a total piece of shit and out of all the people out there I started missing him and caring for him.

The best thing he said to me and I just guess I'll live by them haha

''No matter how bad life gets,how poor you are,you dont have a place to sleep etc as long as you're still breathing and you'r heart is beating you can still do something!Never give up and never give in,it's never over unless we're dead''

''So learn to take life as it really is because it's all up to you as long as you're alive,you can still change something,you just really have to..''

ok,wtf?

my friend had just the same trip as joe rogan

or w.e he was describing

what if...we all share something like the same brain?!

or we all are all living in the same huge ''universe'' that actually doesnt exist and actually!!!!!!!!...this big brain controls us!?

IM GOING INSANEEE

hahaaaaa

dreams are portals.

I love dreams.If i wouldn't dream id go fucking crazy and die!

And ever since i found out we're trippping while dreaming I can't wait till i go sleep! haha!

Unforts latelly i cant fucking remember any of my dreams which just annoys me.

Oh,well i do remember that i had this world of warcraft related LSD dream haha as weird that sounds.

And i was on this magic elf forest and i was lightly flying and the bunnies and elfs we're dragging me down with some magnetic force.

eh maybe i'll try write a story out of it.who knows

don't you think our minds are portals to other worlds?maybe we could even create what we imagine!and maybe or just maybe when we die our soul doesnt ''physycallly'dissapear out of this world,universe etc maybe we just go back into some imaginarry universe in out minds.

maybe i am crazy.

maybe i am not.

who the hell knows anymore.

dreams.

I had this weirdish dream a while agoo.Even tho latelly i try remember what i've dreamed and find a signification,i can't.

but all i remember from that dream is that it was all so much like a mario game and the platforms were silky and soft and the whole scene was fucking claustrophobic. and some weird-ass creature was chasing me along with my cat.

not idk what's up with my cat in my dream but i've found out about being chased in a dream :

Chase
To dream that you are being chased, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity. In particular, to dream that you are chased by an animal, represents your own unexpressed and unacknowledged anger which is being projected onto that animal. Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear.

Now I do think i was chased by some sort of animal,but it was chasing me and my cat?

wtfuck is up with my dreams anyway

that's fucking sad.

In 50 years, people will look back on the present era with the same viewpoint that we currently reserve for the medieval times - when technology was primitive and people lived short, impoverished lives. Technological progress around the world has been steadily refining its methods to manufacture more precise, less expensive products. Extrapolate these remarkably regular trends forward a few more decades and it becomes quite clear where we are headed: molecular manufacturing.

im turning into a fucking geek.

http://thenanoage.com/transhumanism-posthumanism.htm#transhuman

http://thenanoage.com/

https://www.dmt-nexus.com/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&m=144275

https://dmt-nexus.com/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&m=145928

ohhohhh btw :D heheh

http://www.tryptamind.com/public_domain/alice_in_wonderland/lewis_carroll-alice_in_wonderland.htm

DMT

"It seems that DMT releases one's consciousness from the ordinary experience of space and time and catapults one into direct experience of a four-dimensional world which is perhaps identical to the four-dimensional world studied in special relativity theory. This hyper-dimensionality to some extent explains the feeling of incredulity which many first-time users report. The DMT realm is described by some as "incredible", "bizarre", "unbelievable" and even "impossible", and for many who have experienced it these terms are not an exaggeration. These terms make sense if the world experienced under DMT is a four-dimensional world experienced by a mind which is trying to make sense of it in terms of its usual categories of three-dimensional space and one-dimensional time. In the DMT state these categories no longer apply to whatever it is that is being experienced." - DMT & Hyperspace












http://www.tryptamind.com/dmt.html


http://www.youtube.com/dmttripcom

www.dmt-nexus.com

reality

there are as many realities as many people there are.
because well all perceive and see the world diffrent,so we all live in our own realities.

i don't remember what i've forgot.

i wish not to have met alot of you